is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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