We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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