This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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