She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize