come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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