5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
