this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
