where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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