Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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