I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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