we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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