this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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