let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
