i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
