I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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