they said they heard you say put it in my butt
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
