i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
