I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
