plz talk dirty to me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
