I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
