hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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