What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize