they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
