Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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