I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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