I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
