Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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