Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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