I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to align my fucking chakras
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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