Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
