Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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