look no pants
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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