using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
