Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
