Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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