well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
