I seem to have left my pride at pride
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
