my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
