she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize