It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
