Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize