Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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