true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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