i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
