Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
