I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
