Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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