the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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