It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
