Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
