This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
