at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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