Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
