i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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