She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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