In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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