i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is classic penis vs brain.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
