i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
