So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
