I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
